19th Born-Again-Day

December 18, 1994
I was six years old
Sitting in church with my family
Listening to a Christmas-themed sermon about how Jesus came to earth to save us from our sins

I realized that I was a sinner. 

I had cheated earlier in the week playing a board game with my sister. 
I'm sure she knew and I'm sure I still lost the game. 
But I felt convicted. 

I realized I needed Jesus in my life. 

I knew my whole family knew Him. I heard them talk about Him and He was very involved in our lives. I saw my parents serving and giving of themselves and studying the Bible and teaching us about God. 

But I realized that I didn't know Him. 
And I wanted to! 

December 18, 1994
I gave my six-year-old heart to the Lord, and placed all of my six-year-old faith in Jesus Christ. 
I didn't understand everything at the time (did I mention I was six?)
But I completely understood that I needed Jesus to save me from my sins or I was going to hell. 
I knew that I wanted to have Him in my life. I wanted a relationship with Him like I saw in my family and Sunday School teachers and pastors. 

19 years later, it was without a doubt the best decision I have ever made in my life. I don't say that tongue in cheek at all. I cannot imagine life without the Lord. Every thing good about me or in my life is because of Jesus. 

19 years later, I see how much I have yet to be sanctified. Funny thing about growing in the Lord is that the more you grow, the more you realize your weaknesses and imperfections and the more you see that you need Him. 

19 years later, I am yearning for less of myself 
and less of the fluff and stuff and junk and noise that surrounds me in the world
and more of Jesus. 
I want Him to have more of my heart
and time
and attention
and affection. 

And 19 years later, I am so thankful for the people who were in my life when I was six, who visibly lived out their walks with the Lord so that a little six year old girl could understand and want what they had. The Lord was so kind to give me so many faithful believers to watch. It is a reminder to me that the kids in my life are watching me and others around them to see what a life lived for Jesus looks like.

The words to this song have been in my head all day: 

"Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful"

That is my prayer on this 19th new-birth-day.