Anything

This summer I was privileged to get to lead a group of women through Good Morning Girls' study through the book Anything by Jennie Allen. Each day we read verses that corresponded to the chapters we were reading through the book, and then kept each other accountable and connected by posting a quick pic and check in on Instagram.

I've talked about this group a little bit before, but this was my first session that I got to co-lead with my friend Erika (her blog is amazing and honest and makes me want to hug her and get coffee for three hours, in that order). It has been such a great experience and as we wrapped up our 8 week study this past week, I felt so thankful that the Lord has allowed this type of community an method of Bible study to fall into my life. I used to struggle so much with consistent study of the Word. I have always loved Bible study, but if I wasn't attending one that provided daily homework, I would quickly fall out of the habit.

It makes such a huge difference when there are others counting on you to be spending time in the Word. We are all witnesses to our individual worlds, and knowing that there are others out there cheering you on and joining you in the journey to seek God with your whole heart, makes it not as scary or intimidating to reach out to those who don't know Him. There is solidarity in community; when we share our experiences and our hearts, even on Instagram, we don't feel so alone.

In her book, Jennie talks about how the Lord brought her to a new place of surrender, breaking her heart over how numb and un-authentic her heart had grown to Him, and then gave her new desires and dreams that were far less fleshy and self-centered and much more Kingdom-oriented, even at the expense of their own comfort.

When you get a real glimpse of what Jesus did for You, and when you really believe in Heaven and know in your heart that this life is temporary and that Jesus is the only thing that matters, it really changes how you live. It really changes how you view your stuff, and your time, and your relationships, and how you spend your days. And when the Lord starts to change your heart and your thoughts to be lazer-focused on Him, as Jennie says, you start to pray things like "Lord, I will do anything You ask of me."

It is scary to pray that type of prayer, because we all know that there is great potential for us to suffer in this life. Truthfully, we will suffer regardless of whether we were fully surrendered to God or not, but it feels like we can save ourselves from it somehow if we keep our hearts from Him.

What has challenged me the most this summer as I read Jennie's book and studied the corresponding Scriptures was this question: Is He worth it? Is He worth the suffering and the scary stuff and all the stuff that happens to us in life?

And my answer? of course He is! It wasn't about me anyway. This isn't my kingdom at all, and if I am living as if it is - when I get to the end of my life I am going to be so disappointed. You know what isn't worth it? Living for me. I'm totally not worth wrapping my whole life around and spending all my time, money, energy, and affection on. And yet so often I live that way and think it's the way to fulfillment.

Jesus is the only One who satisfies. He faithfully teaches me this in each season of life I find myself in. He is enough in all things. And when He is enough and I am not worth it, I believe He can open my eyes to the dreams He has for my life and all the things - big and small- that He wants me to spend my days doing. I am here for HIS work, and HIS story, and HIS glory. How could I ever think it was about me?